The Mighty Deerstalker

Are you ready for this?
No.
Nor am I. But we're here now. I suppose we're going to have to do it anyway.
That certainly appears to be the situation.
"WILL ALL RUNNERS PLEASE MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE STARTING LINE."
That will be us then.
Yes.
I suddenly felt like I was in a movie about World War 1. There we were assembled, ready to go over the top. There was a lot of bravado, but underneath it you could sense the fear that some of us weren't going to make it.
Off we went. I got over the hay bale obstacle and quickly established myself about a third of the way down the field of runners.
I have always found that when it comes to running, it is important to set yourself a goal. I wasn't going to win this race. That was already apparent, as the fastest people were already disappearing out of sight at an alarming rate.
There was a man dressed as Shaun the Sheep.
"I'm going to beat him" I thought. "I might not be the best runner in the world, but I am not going to get beaten by a man dressed as Shaun the Sheep."
And I did beat him in the end. Although a man dressed as a frog came up with a strong sprint finish and passed me with only about 500 metres to go. It's hard to describe how that feels. It's probably not something Usian Bolt has ever experienced. Bearing down on the finishing line and suddenly being overtaken by a frog.
But at least I beat Shaun the Sheep. At least I did that.

 

Graham phones the fancy-dress shop to cancel his order for a ginger beard, as he suddenly realises that he already has one.